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I call him Tim-Bob, because the first time we met, I thought his name was Tim, and the second time I thought his name was Robert. Hey, is it my fault Tim-Bob slurs terribly? Must be all that beer. Anyway, Tim-Bob was halfway into his fourth drink and onto a familiar lamentation about his Japanese wife. Ken Seeroi, master of putting a positive spin on things since Well obviously that sucks, so it makes more sense for her to stay at home and take care of the house and kids.
That means you can forget about breezing home at five, ordering an extra-large pizza, putting your feet up, and watching TV. What is this, the Philippines? No, you either have to stay at the office until midnight, or come home and get busy. Your choice. The entire society functions in this way.
Imada-san holds down two jobs. Takeda-san raises all the vegetables for his family. Will your salary be sufficient? Sure, for about six months. Then the money troubles will start. So after you finish tilling the earth, you better head off to teach a weekends-worth of corporate classes. Think about a typical salaryman. Now think about a typical Japanese woman. Identical in every way — not exactly fountains of energy and interesting conversation, if you know what I mean.
Be sure to make lots of jokes and entertain him. Gotta quit eating this extra-large pizza while I type. Okay, let me give you a few snapshots. Like I was on a date with this Japanese girl — this was a couple of years ago — and we went to a Mexican restaurant. They have really good fish tacos. I had to think for a moment. You know, I have a pretty checkered past, and I really needed to refer to my daily planner, just to be sure. That seemed to disappoint her. Things kind of degraded from there, and we never went out again.
Which is a shame, because I was kind of into that whole witch thing. Then a few months later, I met a Japanese girl in a club in Roppongi. She was short and cute, and as the night progressed we ended up outside, walking down the street. Anyway, at what seemed to be the perfect moment, I swept her into a parking garage and we started making out against a concrete wall. That seemed to be the right answer, and we abandoned playing pool in favor of her apartment, which really made me regret not answering the witch question differently.
Are all the women in this country mental? I mean, really, have some timing. If you want a vivacious woman who takes an active role in lovemaking then, I dunno, maybe go to Brazil or something, but definitely not Japan. Granted, there are a few good-looking foreign dudes with pretty Japanese girls, but overall, attractive, successful foreign men do far better in their home countries. Or anywhere, for that matter. Anyway, hot dog bun. You know, I initially believed Japanese women were wild about foreign men.
Thanks a lot for hyping that wisdom, internet. Outside of Irish bars, international parties and the like, in the society at large — and I hate to say this, but well — foreigners are not highly regarded in Japan , including by Japanese women. Meet my new bride: Hank. Ok, let me add a couple of disclaimers here. Women have very real constraints and concerns in this society. I get that. Sorry about that. And like women anywhere, they can be controlling, angry, and vindictive if you screw up.
Do not screw up. Trust me on this. They want a house, kids, and a husband who brings home a paycheck. Thanks for sharing. And life here can be frustrating at times. Stay at work, socialise in bars, live in a capsule hotel, never ho home, problem solved… Sort of.
I laughed way too much reading this and had to wipe the tears from my eyes several times. of course?? Have you ever seen women getting groped on the subway; for example, you might think its the national past time after looking on the internet I also heard this too.
I know they might be mutually exclusive situations or non-correlative factors to one another, but can they both be true at the same time?? Japanese men were always very hostile to servicemen from all branches of the US military and I never had a good experience dealing with them. I was pretty well traveled here in the United States and only four times in my nearly 60 years have I personally met Japanese women in America and two were married to US Marines, one was married to an international lawyer she was the daughter of a corporate big wig and another one was a psychologist married to a psychiatrist.
The two that were married to Marines were beer guzzling sweet shy people in public until they got drunk, then they became loud and less shy and were very hard working and argumentative wives at home just like Ken described, except they lived in the US. The one Japanese woman that married an Ivy League Harvard lawyer was completely different I met them in Washington D. The one married to the American psychiatrist was a really admirable person that worked hard and she also spoke perfect English and was great in discussions on any topic, yet she was also a very beautiful person, inside and out.
I could find nothing wrong with her she is my idealistic vision of a smart Geisha that married well and her 4 children were so bright and incredibly well mannered I saw them in their home regularly for many years as I taught chess to them that I thought of them as the perfect family. She worked tirelessly to make her kids feel loved and taught them to be excellent students two went to MIT, one went to Columbia Law School and another to Princeton, all Ivy League schools.
They were fairly well off no servants , yet not as well off as the lawyer couple. I never really met any good Japanese family men or even salary-men where I traveled, as I mainly ran into the lower class working types laborers, truck drivers, fishermen, farmers in Okinawa bars. I lived in Los Angeles, Chicago, Boston I did see some Japanese men there on the roads that were crazy wild drivers , Houston, Memphis, Jacksonville Fl. Japanese women that Ken describes might be from the lower and middle class but might not be from the upper class could they be different?
and are there any Geisha still left?? The nippon work ethic, once learned, stays with a Japanese person, whether they are in the US or Japan!! Ken is the wisest and most hilarious Gaijin I have ever known :fan: ; I mean that and am not trying to garner favor in any way possible, except that I think he should write a book :reading: bang bang. Well, American news media is going that route nowadays too I guess, as we only have two violently opposed voices — liberal and conservative where moderates are no longer given a voice.
Therefore, I give humble thanks to both of you … so so very much for all you are doing to make Japan come to life over the internet and in my imagination!!!
While I do agree with some of the points you make especially the one about generalizations; good comparison , let me go through some of the ideas you wrote there:. Some of them are actually very weird by the way, I have been asked some of those out-of-nowhere questions too.
Well, they got it coming: if you guys keep hanging out in Roppongi, dating the part-time receptionist girls with the fake eyelashes and the purple contacts and, to make things even better, eventually marrying them without really knowing them nor their families , you are in for one hell of a ride. Try going after a girl with a real career and a skill set that goes beyond makeup and expensive fashion complements and then write how it goes.
But then again, you may need some more credentials than a foreign passport and a couple of beers to get her to make out with you. Perhaps this is my fault for not painting a fuller picture, but I was trying to write about Japanese women, not so much myself.
If you really want to hear about me talking to a girl in the frozen food section of , well, I guess I could write that. But unlike the women you described, they were very ordinary people with good jobs: a doctor, an author, a nurse, a teacher. Too loud and crowded for my tastes. People should be careful not to judge Japan too quickly based upon hearsay or first impressions. The picture shown at the intro to this article on the blog shows a couple dressed in white posing on a dock with really brilliant looking trombones.
Is there any significance to the trombones that the couple is holding. OK, this is my question: Why is the woman holding the bigger and most expensive trombone? Is she just a better player or just worth more money …. It was a wedding shooting. It might be that they are both into classical music, maybe they both play instruments, maybe they met each other at a classical concert.
This is most likely all rental stuff, only for the shooting. Anyway, I hope I made you smile at least with the weird question. People who go for opposites.. I mean, are you trying to make your life harder and less fun?
The statement that there are so many good-looking foreign guys with homely Japanese girls. I assumed that it was a big reason that men like Japanese girls at all, at least in the beginning. Unlike girls from a lot of other countries the US especially , these girls at least look like they put some effort into what they look like.
Or that foreign men often neglect their appearance. A pair of heels and a push-up bra and a woman goes from a five to an eight. A good make-up job, some permed hair, and a set of contacts, and boom, perfect ten.
Interestingly enough, I recently attended an event where they did this as a competition. Six very plain girls went up on stage, and in fifteen minutes, a team of stylists applied make-up, hair extensions, and contacts, and the women went from ordinary to amazing, right before your eyes.
Hairspray was flying. The teams in this competition do this for a living. Every day before work, hostesses come in to their salons, and leave 15 minutes later, looking amazing, ready for work. So instead, they spend hours at home getting ready. Or wear surgical masks when they just need to run out to the grocery store. Hi ken! I grew up in Tokyo. As far as I know the girls are interesting in foreigners. Most of us are highly educated but yes I agree we are not encouraged learning communication skills as good as Americans or westerners so sometimes when we are nervous we cannot convey our feeling well as youguys.
Since that time, this number has increased tenfold and marked the beginning of the new era of cross-cultural marriages. More and more western men are now looking for Japanese mail order brides, and most importantly, find them on the best online dating websites. First, let's talk about the term "mail order bride" in a bit more detail. Historically, mail order brides were women who went to another continent to the United States, to be exact to become wives of the settlers. Of course, they have never met in person — they went to America, chose a husband, and received land and money for their migration and the decision to start a family with one of the settlers.
The first mail order brides were Europeans, but soon this became an international phenomenon — single women mostly Asian ladies agreed to marry a foreigner mostly to migrate to the US. Future newlyweds could communicate through letters, but it was still far from actual dating. However, the industry evolved. Best dating sites, as well as the dating agencies, developed a new strategy that obviously worked much better for singles.
They started to provide tools that helped them start an authentic relationship online. Of course, this is due to technological progress — brides and men started to use video chat, international calls, keep in touch for months, and then meet each other in real life. That's how the mail order bride industry turned into an international dating industry.
She is a single woman who wants to meet a foreign husband and is ready to migrate to his country. A woman joins one of the top Japanese brides sites, meets foreign men, starts dating one of them, and if everything goes well, he comes to Japan to take their relationship to the next level.
Then they decide to get married and she migrates. Unlike mail order brides from the past, a Japanese woman doesn't sell herself to rich men and doesn't make immigration her main goal. She is rather a Japanese mail order girlfriend. Basically, that's how it works — no more, no less. Before we take a closer look at the procedure of finding Japanese wives online, let's pay some attention to the national characteristics, qualities, and personality traits of Japanese beauties.
What exactly makes them so attractive? What makes men use international dating sites, pay for membership and then go to Japan to meet their bride instead of finding someone in their city or at least a country?
This is due to the following reasons. Let's start with the most obvious reason why so many men look for Japanese mail order wives. Yes, as you've already guessed, it's their beauty. There is no denying that Japanese women are naturally pretty, but the thing is it's not enough for most of them. Local beauty standards ten toward light perfect skin, slim body, long legs, curly eyelashes, and gorgeous dark hair.
This ideal appearance must be perfectly natural and perfectly irresistible at the same time — Japanese women for marriage usually do a lot of work to look gorgeous. By the way, you won't see a Japanese woman wearing pajamas or old wrinkled clothes in the street. The thing is in Japanese culture, not dressing well is considered disrespectful. Local girls dress up from head to bottom — it's just a norm, a rule everyone follows. In fact, the desire to have a family is often the main reason why a Japanese mail order wife starts looking for a foreign husband.
In Japan, a woman can have a career or a family. Still, most Japanese women want to have families as they realize that you can hardly achieve true happiness without it. They are loving and loyal wives and perfect mothers who can reconcile work and family life perfectly, but the thing is it's not always possible in their home country.
Japanese girls are really special. On the one hand, they couldn't avoid the positive impact of modern trends. In particular, most of them enter universities, care about self-development, self-realization, and career.
According to statistics, in , 1. Still, as we've mentioned before, it doesn't mean that they've lost interest in family values, not at all otherwise, there would be no Japanese mail order brides — it just means that they are pretty self-sufficient. Though this could seem to be an advantage again, Japanese women don't forget about family values, they just want to have their own interests and goals , many local men are looking for brides in other Asian countries.
Men from Japan often marry Thai girls , Chinese and Filipino brides because they get an advantage over a woman, and women from these countries are seeking support from men. So, everybody wins. However, Japanese mail brides who want to marry foreign men are looking for someone who'd accept and value the intelligence of a future wife and treat her with respect, and they know exactly they can find such guys in western countries.
Some people think that having a Japanese wife means living a boring life with an emotionless woman. Well, it's very, very far from the truth. Yes, they are Asian girls and they prefer not to show their emotions in public and not to lose their face, but it doesn't mean they aren't passionate!
This is just another stereotype. In reality, a Japanese wife isn't cold and always calm — she's likely to have a good laugh with you, impress your friends with friendliness and intelligence, offer you to do those spontaneous things, and so on and so forth. Simply put, family life with such a girl will definitely not be boring or, as some people say, "sterile".
As we've noted previously, in western culture, mail order brides are often viewed as women who are just looking for a better life in a more developed country. Well, beautiful Japanese brides just don't need to go thousands of miles away from home to solve their or their family's financial problems.
On top of that, they are too proud to do anything like that. Japanese girls experience certain difficulties at home, that's true. In particular, single Japanese girls feel that social pressure at work, so they feel free and strong when achieving serious career goals if they have the possibility to get a good job. Japanese mail order wives are not like western women — they were raised in another culture, have other traditions and views on certain things, including courtship.
You can meet Japanese women who'd be interested in a serious relationship, but the thing is you also need to get her attention online and then win her heart to start dating her and then finally meet in person in Japan. Many men say that dating a Japanese was the best experience. Many guys also note that at the beginning, they were experiencing some difficulties mostly related to cultural differences.
Use the tips that we provided to attract Japanese girls and avoid common mistakes most other guys usually make.
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